Two Tea Party Goobers In Congress

– by Jim Hightower

It’s time for another Gooberhead Award – presented periodically to those in the news who have their tongues running 100-miles-an-hour, but forgot to put their brains in gear.

Today, I’ve got two goobers from last year’s tea bag uprising, both of whom got elected by promising to bring common sense to Congress and take government back from the special interests. Goober Number One is Arizona’s Ben Quayle, the son of Dan – and truly a flake off the old block. Ben has proven to be a stand up guy – not for the folks, but for Big Oil. While voting to slash government programs to help the elderly and the poor, he has voted not once but twice to keep giving $2 billion in annual tax subsidies to the five richest oil corporations.

In a town hall meeting back home, a feisty lady asked him, “Why?” Ben essentially called her ignorant, insisting that Big Oil was merely getting the same tax deductions that all corporations get – “It’s not specific to the oil industry,” he said. To which the audience burst out laughing. They were right to guffaw, for tax giveaways called “Intangible Drilling Costs” and “Enhanced Oil Recovery Costs” are obviously specific to that industry. Is Ben lying… or just a goober?

Our second awardee is Sean Duffy of Wisconsin, who campaigned as a regular guy. But asked at a town hall gathering whether he’d vote to cut congressional pay as a symbolic stand with his hard hit constituents, Sean fell into a paroxysm of self-pity. I have “more debt than all of you,” he wailed. Adding that he can’t even buy a new car on his $174,000-a-year paycheck, and Duffy also complained about Congress’s health and pension plans – most of which are paid for by us taxpayers.

Sean, if it’s such a burden being a congress critter, quit – and join the real world. What a goober!



Filed under Human Rights, NEWS, Opinion, Politics

5 responses to “Two Tea Party Goobers In Congress

  1. Well, his dad was full of shit too, so…
    For some reason, I see him as a running mate for Jeb Bush in the next decade.

  2. NEVER trust a man in a Cowboy hat… Or a skirt!!

  3. I swear they politicians are a breed of their own.

    • Let’s see what Agent Smith has to say about that.

      Agent Smith:
      I’d like to share a revelation that I’ve had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your government and I realized that they’re not actually politicians. Every other life form on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but politicians do not. They move to an area and they multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way they can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Politicians are a disease, Neo, a cancer of this planet. They’re a plague and we are the cure.

  4. idiots have never been absent from Capitol Hill.

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