A VERY MEDIOCRE CHRISTMAS

If you will reread it you will notice, yourself, that it lacks definiteness; that it lacks purpose; that it lacks coherence; that it lacks a subject to talk about; that it is loose and wabbly; that it wanders around; that it loses itself early and does not find itself any more. There are some other defects, as you will notice, but I think I have named the main ones. ~ Mark Twain

This letter is going to be my version of that often sickly-sweet letter that you might get from friends and relatives. You know, the one where they tell you all about how wonderful their lives are; their children are good looking geniuses, they have been promoted to V.P.’s at work, and the grandkids are destined to be movie stars and professional athletes.

Why are these often written in the 3rd person style, as if some outside entity is looking in on their blessed lives? That seems a bit creepy to me, like a long dead ancestor is keeping track of their wonderful lives and taking notes along the way, then sending in a yearly synopsis.

This letter, in keeping with the Christmas spirit, will be all about ME (and mine). My version, of course, will read somewhat differently than the one I describe above.

First, things…stuff. Since things and stuff are the least important in life (or should be), let’s get this out of the way.

-Odd stuff. I have an “eclectic collection” of antique junk that I’ve got stored here, there, and only God knows where; A rather large stamp and postcard collection, old tools, kitchen gadgets, sheet music, license plates, even an 100 year old ball-and-claw bathtub. I would like to be able to tinker around with the junk and display or use more of it, but I’ve got this blog habit that eats up any time I have off work.

-My house. It is over one hundred years old. This is what we could afford then, and barely now. One reason I wanted this place is that it was less than a block from where my parents lived, but they have since moved across town. When we moved here in 2000, I had huge hopes and plans. We were plenty lucky, shortly after moving here, as an F3 tornado missed our house by mere feet. Most of the houses directly across the street were completely gone. We got a new roof from insurance money, but it turned out to be shoddy work. I got new guttering too, but it is still stored underneath the house, waiting on me to have the time and energy to install it. Now that my money and time are very short, I wonder who was lucky. We need a new roof (again), insulation everywhere, storm windows, paint, and lots of miscellaneous.

-The storm cellar has a wall that I never finished bricking-in. The drain down there was rusted out, and I never replaced it, so any heavy rain may dump several inches of water in the cellar, which drains very slowly. Of course, there’s some junk I collected stored down there too. One notable item is a very old. (maybe 100 years old) wheelchair which would be worth some money if I had the time to refinish it. -The garage could use siding, and is completely full of my tools and other crap that I’ve scattered and made a mess of. On a bright note, I did give away a truckload of solid oak to a local man who makes rocking chairs and toy trains. I donated the valuable wood because he gives these as gifts for needy children (he deserves sainthood). I have lots more oak, but really should sell it, as I can’t pay all my bills yet.

-An outbuilding that was damaged in the tornado, and has been full of crap ever since; stuff I need to sell, throw away and give away. There are no doors on the outbuilding and it’s missing some windows too. This building is large enough to park several cars in. I hope the city continues to ignore this, because I don’t have the resources to demolish it right now. There are some good building supplies out there that I need to use, along with thousands and thousands of bricks (wall and paver). This is not a great neighborhood, but even the local thieves don’t have the guts to venture into that building.

-The “mower shed” is no beauty either. Pretty well stacked up with stuff; several hundred fire-bricks and some tile chimney-liner (for the do-it-yourself mason who wants a brick barbecue), a diamond blade brick and tile saw, masonry tools, an old chipper-shredder, and of course an aging riding mower. The mower needs repaired again, as I can’t seem to make it through one season without running over some crap and causing damage that needs professional repairs.

-The yard is rather large, three city lots, which I regret having every mowing season. I still have some odd stacks of old sandstone in the yard, all supposed to be part of a raised bed garden that I never made. I no longer have a truck, so I guess the rock is there to be mowed around for eternity.

Vehicles, another necessary pain in the ass:

-The younger daughter’s car has a lots of miles on it and is leaking coolant somewhere, but is pretty nice inside. My Mom bought her the car. Thanks again Mom. I hope it lasts through three more years of college.

-The wife’s car is close to 10 years old and needs several hundred dollars in repair but still runs good. -My car is 35 years old and still limping along; the interior is shot, the vinyl shredding itself, and it’s been hit several times while parked on the street, and it runs rather poorly while getting some appalling gas mileage. I quit washing it, as the last time I did, some of the trim came off, along with more vinyl roof.

And now people, the important pieces of this puzzle called life.

-Dad has been quadriplegic for over 17 years. He spent a couple of months hospitalized again this past year. Squeaked through another close call. He recently had to have a toe amputated, but has recovered well. Having a spinal cord injury, he couldn’t feel any pain from the toe or the procedure. He used to be able to play on the computer, but his voice has gotten worse and the software won’t hear him well enough. Being on a ventilator has always been a speech problem.

-Mom had both knees replaced this past year, and a couple other minor medical procedures. She’s done an extraordinary job taking care of Dad all these years, but has arthritis and some other obstacles with caregiving now. I don’t know how much longer she’ll be able to do this, and it makes me uncertain about my future. I may need to be the primary caregiver at some point.

-The wife. She’s been disabled as long as Dad has, but disability payments don’t cover nearly all the costs. Several conditions and illnesses keep her from working. Her spine has gotten more bone spurs and will eventually fuse between the vertebrae leaving her back immobile. Her left shoulder is unusable right now, and physical therapy is going on with the shoulder. Conditions, procedures and medications too many to mention right now. Thanks to my wife for putting up with all my shortcomings and still loving me!

-My brother. He had surgery on his knees this year, and his back ain’t too damn good either. His wife has been seeking work and they’ve had a tough go of it. Their daughter got married and her new hubby can’t find work either. Their son is working at Starbucks, and seems happy enough with it. I don’t see them much due to my own work hours.

-Older daughter. Her family lost everything in the Joplin tornado. She has a strong faith and great church family that has helped. They went through a lot, but are relocated now and carrying on with life. Some friends of theirs died, and one lost two children. She was featured in “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”.

-Younger daughter. Her second year in college. Doing okay, working on top of school too. Welcome to adulthood. Never enough time or money. The wife and I went out and heard her choir a few weeks ago. She also got to sing The National Anthem at the opening of the college basketball game. The wife was there for that and said she got a standing ovation for her performance. Apparently, that’s something that rarely happens. She would like to be an opera singer. Any producers out there let me know when she can go to work.

-The grandkids.Girl, age 10 and boy age 7. Of course, being my grandkids, they are wonderful people. They both got some local media coverage and notoriety after the Joplin tornado. Ta’ Lynn got to be the “opener” for a benefit in Branson Missouri, doing a pre-recorded and live piece with Jim Stafford, Shoji Tabuchi and Carrie April Tillis. Donovyn got some coverage at a football camp sponsored by NFL quarterback Shawn Hill. Being so young, neither one realized how cool it was to appear on TV with those celebrities.

-And finally, ME.

I continue to work two jobs, and have less time and money than ever in my life. I’m lucky to get six hours sleep on most days. This makes me grouchy,… bah humbug. I’m still bald and toothless and I’m in training to grow hair and teeth, but so far no luck. My eyes are getting worse, and I can no longer read without glasses. My lower dentures seem to be getting looser.

I still love to frequent several blogs, but lately haven’t even had time to comment on my favorites. I wish I could write and blog more, but just like writing this silly letter, there’s so many other (responsible) things I should be doing.

I hope my realistic Christmas letter hasn’t depressed (or bored) anyone to the point of needing professional counseling. If you could accept some really mediocre (free) and amateur counseling, just drop me a line. If nothing else, maybe my life will help bring perspective to your own problems.

I truly hope this holiday finds you all doing well. Thanks to all who follow, read and comment here.

Above all, I wish for you to enjoy the things that Christ taught us about; Love, compassion and forgiveness. May those lessons dominate this season and our own lives. ~ sekanblogger

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